If this were Little Miss Sunshine, I'd be screaming the f-bomb...

I have horrible vision. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am not, in fact, perfect. My vision sucks so bad that when the doctor asked me what was at the top of the eye chart today, I told him that it was probably an "E," simply because that's what all eye charts have at the top. I wonder if the giant "E" stands for eye chart...

Anyway, he then blocks the entire chart except for the line he wants me to read. On the first line, he asks me what I see. I read off the letters that I see, feeling pretty good about my answer.

Until he says, "So, that line's pretty blurry for you then." Guess so.

He then proceeds to the next line and asks me to read those letters.

"What letters?"

"The letters on this line that I'm showing you, Miss Ulmer."

"Well, there must be a mistake. I don't see any letters."

"Hmmm."

(PS, you're super hot, Mr. Eyedoctor. Darn that wedding ring on your finger. At least, I think you're hot. Oh, wait. I'm not wearing my glasses. Hmmm, you're not really all that attractive after all. Well, congratulations on your marriage then.)

My mom then proceeds to regale us with the story of my first visit to the eye doctor when I was in the third grade. We had brought my little brother, who had just learned the alphabet, mind you. The doctor had asked me to read from the eye chart (I should have that darn thing memorized by now...). Obviously, I missed some letter since I did not have my glasses yet. My brother, instead of wondering if he had confused these particular letters, turned to my mom, looked back at the chart, then turned back to my mom

"She can't read too good. Mimi must be dumb."


Roommate quote of the day: "Look! Goats! Baaah!"