"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind." -Aristotle

Since I have been woefully remiss in regaling my non-existent readers with stories of my adventures for the past few months, I decided that I would share some funny things that have happened to me at my new big-girl job as an administrative assistant at Buford Goff & Associates:

1. I work with my father.  Trust me, it's funny.

2. The only other person who works at BGA and is under the age of about 40 is a social recluse who likes to converse with me via email, but awkwardly runs away when we bump into each other in person...

3. I had a minor "Marilyn Monroe moment" with my dress when the air conditioner was out and we had set up fans in the hallways.

4. The last time I tried to ride the elevator up to our floor, I almost died.  Literally.  The elevator reached the second floor, then dropped (like, free-fall dropped) back to the first.  I jumped out of that thing like my ass was on fire.  Near-death experience number one...

5. I was delivering some boxes to a local architecture firm and having to walk in the street when the boxes tipped off my handcart and spilled into the street.  Lady Street, I might add, which is a very busy street downtown.  Near-death experience number two...

6. I got a paper cut so severe that I literally gushed blood all over some files the other day.  I like to think this was near-death experience number three...

7. I overheard a coworker describing how his doctor had cut several moles off of his back with a razor.  I then told the story to another coworker, who reported to the first coworker that he was scaring the help.  Thanks.  Thanks, a lot.

8. I was eavesdropping (again...) and heard a coworker describe Governor's Grant as the location for Real Housewives of Lexington (a valid assessment).  However, I revealed myself when I laughed so hard that I choked on my poptart.

9. We celebrated National Donut Day on Friday, which I was extremely excited about (if you know me, you know how I feel about donuts...).  After going throughout the office to make sure of how many donuts to pick up, I got on the intercom and demanded that everyone report to the breakroom to do their patriotic duty and celebrate National Donut Day.

10. Today, I may or may not have accidentally shut off the power to the administration department because I was running a heater.  In June.  Note to self: bring a sweatshirt next time...

Also, sadly, Anna and I no longer live together because her new husband will not allow me to move into their house... Therefore, there will be no more roommate quotes of the day.  I know, I know. Devastating.
Instead, here's a little snatch of conversation from the home of one of my coworkers last night:
Debbie: "Man, this sinus drainage is really killing me."
Isabelle: "Well, Mommy, why aren't you dead then?"